don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
