OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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