do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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