My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
