It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
