Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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