She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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