It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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