what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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