i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
