Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
