Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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