I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
