Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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