I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
