i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
