Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
