My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
