Got a toothbrush?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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