No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
