Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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