I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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