New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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