I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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