I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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