He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
