We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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