I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
