smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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