girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Still dying that you shit outside
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
