I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
