His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
