I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
