my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
