no, he came in my armpit
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
