My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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