I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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