Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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