When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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