Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
