my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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