you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
