she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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