My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
