So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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