if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
