I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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