Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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