he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
