Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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