she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
