You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
