so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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